I'm just warming up after spending the afternoon in the church watching the infant nativity and then fighting my way home through the driving rain,wind and cold with three grumpy children in tow. I can't feel my toes yet!
This afternoons performance was the second, we all went to watch Sid as "head sheep" last night, and I went alone this afternoon.
I've sat in that church countless times, for nativity's, carol services, school leavers,all the usual stuff you'd expect from a CofE school.
I admit I usually go through a sense of duty and sit numb bummed and bored throughout. Last night though,and more especially today when I sat alone I felt both super proud of my gorgeous little sheep, and sad that I was sitting alone, when I should've had a baby snuggled up and nursing.
My eyes were full of tears,but the smiles and waves from Sid and his little friend stopped me from just spilling those tears.
I watched the little stars in the costumes I made several years ago and I thought of how I'd never get to see Florence wearing one and dancing with the other children.
Christmas is changing for me, and I'm not sure how yet.
